“Misunderstood is a must-read for anybody trying to deepen their understanding of the TCK experience and how international mobility affects a child. Tanya Crossman’s collection of unique real-life stories will not only resonate with TCKs, but will also inspire empathy and understanding for anyone who has ever transitioned.”
– Valérie Besanceney, Author of B at Home: Emma Moves Again and My Moving Booklet
“Misunderstood left me feeling refreshingly… understood! Compassionate and discerning, its blend of gathered narrative and insight left me with a sense of belonging as well as an appreciation for the many varieties of experience similar to mine. This is the guidebook I want to give people to explain my cultural upbringing.”
– Christopher O’Shaughnessy, Author of Arrivals, Departures and the Adventures in Between
“If I were moving overseas with my kids today, this is the book I’d want in my hand luggage. Misunderstood updates the gold standard of TCK research for today’s families, weaving detailed information together with compelling personal narrative, giving a voice to this generation of kids growing up overseas, and fostering understanding with those who love and care for them.”
– Kay Bruner, MA Licensed Professional Counselor, Author of As Soon As I Fell
“It’s hard to imagine a more thorough – or more thoughtful – treatment of the dynamics of being a TCK. Crossman’s survey results alone make this an invaluable contribution to the field, but it is the compelling voices of TCKs themselves, generously cited throughout, that will leave a lasting impression. Anyone who is a TCK or who cares about them will find insights on every page.”
– Craig Storti, Director of Communicating Across Cultures, Author of The Art of Crossing Cultures and The Art of Coming Home (among many other books)
“Tanya Crossman’s Misunderstood is a valuable and much-welcomed resource for Third Culture Kids who may struggle with grief and a conflicted sense of self after repeated loss of the people, places and ways of life they care about. Crossman’s extensive work with, and interview of, TCKs acknowledges their pain and offers – in their own words, in their own voices − support and the reassurance that the Third Culture itself is their place of sharing, identity, home and belonging. Misunderstood is a treasure chest of ways in which family, friends, and TCKs themselves can provide love, understanding, assistance and the space in which to heal, grow, and ultimately thrive.”
– Linda A. Janssen, Author of The Emotionally Resilient Expat
“Misunderstood, indeed! This book is a ‘must have’ for anyone who is interested in or works within Third Culture Life. The information and real-life experiences shared reflect the reality of what it is to be a ‘global citizen’ and the importance of having a framework to support TCKs/Expat Youth. I plan to use this book as a resource, and I highly recommend it to others. Thank you, Tanya, for supporting this population, and for providing such a valuable tool.”
– Dr Lisa Pittman, Licensed Psychologist (USA), Registered Psychologist (UK), Co-Author of Expat Teens Talk
“Wow, what an insightful, well researched book. The TCK insights and stories are so personal… anyone with a cross-cultural upbringing or connection will relate to them. I wish excellent resources like this had been available when I was exploring the effects of my TCK upbringing. You will be able to understand and love TCKs in a richer, deeper and more meaningful way as a result of Misunderstood. Thanks Tanya for your devotion and efforts – a great addition to TCK literature!”
– Heidi Sand-Hart, Author of Home Keeps Moving
“Misunderstood explains ME. Tanya gives words to internal feelings I could not have previously understood as a TCK. While I read, I found myself nodding with a sense of relief and recognition, ‘Yes! That’s what I felt. I’m not the only one.’”
– Taylor Joy Murray, Author of Hidden in My Heart: A TCK’s Journey Through Cultural Transition
“Misunderstood does indeed open a window on how an international upbringing may affect a child. This book will be a great resource for people working with the global population or families thinking about a global life. I loved that Crossman covers being misunderstood by friends as being hard enough, but that she also covers being misunderstood by family. Understanding TCKs and CCKs backed by her statistics makes a very interesting read. You will enjoy the two sides of goodbye, the common threads she taps into about TCKs, and information about nontraditional families. Crossman has excellent feedback from TCKs on the various lives we offer our children when we move them abroad.”
– Julia Simens, Author of Emotional Resilience and the Expat Child: Practical tips and storytelling techniques that will strengthen the global family
“Tanya Crossman begins Misunderstood with the important caveat that she is describing a ‘perspective, not a person’. Through detailed narratives and interviews from hundreds of TCKs, she beautifully achieves her goal and gives us a broad picture of the world of the Third Culture Kid. Misunderstood is sure to be an excellent addition to the current body of TCK literature.”
– Marilyn Gardner, Author of Between Worlds: Essays on Culture & Belonging
“Tanya Crossman has done an artful job of using numerous quotes from experts in the field, along with voices of TCKs around the world, to back up her research on TCKs. Her research makes this book a valuable resource for those who study and or work with TCKs.”
– Lois Bushong, M.S., Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Owner and Counselor at Quiet Streams Counseling, Author of Belonging Everywhere & Nowhere: Insights into Counseling the Globally Mobile
“Only such qualitative methodology can showcase the voices of the TCK’s experience. Identifying participants by age, nationalities, number of moves, sponsor affiliation, and type of schooling, help the reader gain invaluable insights. Explaining the wider concept of Cross-Culture Kids illuminates the multilayers within each experience, as does the focus on pre/post 1985 birthdate. Another invaluable contribution to the literature for CCKs, TCKs and those who live and work with them.”
– Dr Ettie Zilber, Head of the International School of Arizona, Author of Third Culture Kids: The Children of International School Educators
“My response to reading Misunderstood was to smile because it captured the essence of who I am. It reminded me of just how much potential we TCKs have to make a real impact in the world, particularly bridging the cultural divides that exist today. I’d recommend this book to anyone who has ever found themselves in between cultures – it is a compass for guiding you to your true north as a TCK.”
– Tayo Rockson, Author of The Ultimate Guide to TCK Living, host of the As Told By Nomads podcast and editor of BrandEdU
“Mix the ways people feel like outsiders in a casserole. Cut a hundred bite-sized pieces of theory, each spiced with a compelling story. Serve immediately. Misunderstood provides unlimited servings of understanding for those trying to understand TCKs and for TCKs trying to understand themselves.”
– Drs. Douglas W. Ota, Psychologist, Author of Safe Passage: What Mobility Does to People and What International Schools Should Do About It
“This research-based book is a phenomenal new resource for parents who want to understand more about the affect growing up overseas has on their children. This books focuses on 21st century TCKs and the unique challenges that come from being raised as a TCK in this generation.”
– TCK Training
“The latest in TCK research, and quite possibly the most comprehensive to date, this book is a great update and extention of the original ‘Growing Up Among Worlds’.”
– Dr. Rachel Cason, Life Story
“Crossman’s gift to internationally mobile families with children is her analysis of the interviews conducted by her with around 270 current or past TCKs, supplemented by a separate survey of another 744 TCKs. Her systematic approach extends to the way in which she has recorded and presented information about each TCK’s passport(s) and countries of residence, and the way that she has organised the themes that have emerged from the life stories that she has collected. . .If you are looking for a book that will tell you exactly how to raise or cope with your TCK or CCK, then this is not it. If, however, you are open to reading about a wide range of experiences of children growing up in international settings, in order to shed light on your own family’s situation, then you will find this book an extremely interesting read.”
– Patrick Fuller, Hylle Royce (specialist international education consulting)
“I thought I’d more or less put being a TCK behind me. Instead, Tanya has helped me to see that being a TCK is this rich and vibrant opportunity stretching out in front of me. I believe that knowledge is power, and the more I can dive in to what has shaped my entire self, the better I will be able to overcome the parts that hold me back. I can not overemphasize how much Misunderstood touches on every aspect of my life. My faith, my friendships, my marriage, my siblings, my parents, my patriotism, my parenting, my career. Sometimes I want to stop being a TCK, but I can’t. I can’t separate myself from this, so the only thing is to move forward in it and let myself be open to growth and the pain that accompanies it. Having a guidebook through this ongoing experience is something that I didn’t know I needed until now.”
– Karissa, Weird Eyes
“Being a TCK myself, I was pleased to find that at the end of nearly 400 pages of interwoven vignettes, anecdotes, personal quotes, context information, and definitions, Tanya has presented a balanced perspective of what it means to live as a TCK in Misunderstood. Tanya extends past the quantifiable measures of countries lived in and number of moves to the feelings and thoughts a TCK carries with him or her. Tanya’s book lends value to TCK literature through its diversity of narratives. Instead of rehashing foundational TCK concepts, Tanya broadens the conversation. . .This diversity adds to richness to our understanding of the collective TCK identity. . . .At the beginning of her book, Tanya identifies the intended audience as TCKs, families of TCKs, or caregivers of TCKs. I am confident Tanya has included something in her book for everyone.”
– Lauren, UYD Media
“It’s a strange feeling to realise just how much of myself has been tied up in my identity of a third culture kid (TCK), even into adulthood. There’s a lot of theory to digest in Misunderstood but it’s presented with clarity of everyday speech rather than academic writing. Personally, I related to many of the topics discussed in this book, and gained a more holistic understanding of how my international upbringing has impacted me. Even though I’ve come to appreciate many positives about being raised abroad more than half my childhood, there are some negative sentiments that have lingered. Instead of dealing with them, I’ve suppressed them for a long time. Reading Misunderstood made me realise that I need to start addressing these emotions in order to move forward.”
– Josephine, Goodreads
“I read this as I am about to send my twin Third Culture Kids to university and the timing couldn’t have been better. Tanya writes with wisdom and provides perspectives from a broad spectrum of TCKs. The anecdotes combined with the depth of her research was both thorough and accessible. I found so much useful information as well as encouragement and inspiration for help in raising my TCKs, especially since I am not one myself.”
– Rachel Pieh Jones, Amazon
“If you’ve read Pollock and Van Reken’s Third Culture Kids then read this. If you haven’t then start with Tanya Crossman’s Misunderstood first! It’s an excellent book for better understanding TCKs. A must read for parents raising kids cross-culturally (or planning to.) Also great for those who grew up this way, or whose work is with TCKs. An engaging read and updated for the 21st century (ex. Is it helpful or not to be able to connect electronically?). Really appreciated all of the quotes & input of the TCKs who were interviewed!”
– aelud, Amazon
“My children are Third Culture Kids (TCKs) and this book provides valuable insight in understanding the challenges and joys that a child experiences while growing up outside of their “home” country. As a parent, this book helps me to identify what my child may be going through and to recognize how their feelings and experiences differ from mine as well as how to validate and respect those feelings and help them navigate transitions. I really appreciated the multiple interviews/feedback from children of different backgrounds (missionary/government/business/adoption) and the way the book is formatted to help identify the speakers point of view. I read the book on Kindle but have since gotten a hard copy as well so I can easily revisit and add my notes – it’s a great resource!”
– China Mom, Amazon
“Growing up overseas, there were experiences and challenges that the average person who grows in one location does not know much about or understand, be it my parents, friends in my host country or family in my passport country. Having just finished reading this book, I plan to donate a copy to the international school that I attended and give another to parents on the PTA of the school to pass around; this is a great resource and will provide valuable insight to teachers and parents of TCKs, and TCKs themselves – perspective to questions about the feelings and behavior of TCKs that had previously mystified, confused and been overlooked.”
– Jeremy, Amazon
“It is almost eery to read Tanya’s book after talking to my son regarding his transition back into living in the US. So many of the words and thoughts he expressed are identical to those in this book. I bought both of us copies so we could try and understand his feelings and realize what he is going through is both normal and ok. There are so many positive outcomes from exposing your child to living overseas I must admit that I did not realize also the conflict that poses when trying to understand where you fit in compared to many of your peers. Thank you Tanya for writing such a thoughtful and understanding book.”
– Melissa, Amazon
“My favourite TCK book! Written by an author who has mentored TCKs for over a decade, based on more than 250 interviews. The book outlines and explains the major phases and themes in the lives of TCKs and gives suggestions on how their family/friends and TCKs themselves can support them. It’s well structured, written in a simple, everyday language with a lot of compassion. This book saved me from my breakdown: so many of the quotes from other TCKs mirrored exactly what I’d been feeling all this time but couldn’t admit or let out because I never felt safe enough to. A wonderful company to have in my bookshelf and in my life.”
– Nozomi, まぜこぜ Mazekoze
Read customer reviews on Amazon
See community reviews on Goodreads
MISUNDERSTOOD 